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The Back Way January 2003 | ||
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| December 2002 | By Cathy Sullens | |
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01.01.03 From our family to yours, Happy New Year! Wishing us all good health, good friends and good times! We have 8 inches of beautiful snow here in Mid-Missouri. Come enjoy wintertime with us, sledding, snowballs, snowmen and come ski Missouri! 01.16.03 Oh Dear Lord, this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It's taken me 10 months to be able to write these words. I lost my dear Darlin' this day, as the sun was coming up. It was snowing so pretty and Jesse and I sat him up and we all watched the snow fall out our bedroom window when my dear Darlin' moved to Heaven. It was as peaceful a passing as he was a peaceful man. His way to Heaven was well lit, did you realize that the moon was full for 7 nights in January 2003? He was only 47 years old, he had been fighting severe neuropathy and since December, pancreas cancer that had spread to his liver. He was home, where he wanted to be. Missouri River Hospice was a God send, they did not make him suffer and he was the first to receive marinol and not have to take the chemotherapy. He got to take 1 pill, the poor man literally starved to death, but hopefully, his suffering will not have to be felt by others in the future. He was the love of my life, my soul mate and now he's gone. All my children, grandbaby, son-in laws came at 6:30 am, and we all drank a shot of Evan Williams whiskey to my dear Darlin's life, and I brushed out his long, beautiful hair and cut off about 6" and cut mine to match. Wonderful Diana from Hospice kept us sane and helped out with the many details we could not face. We had to notify friends and family, and they came running from all over the state of Missouri, Colorado and South Dakota. His pallbearers were Sir Walter Thew and Sir Tom Hildebrand of the Colorado Knights of the Round Table, True Missouri Brothers: Russell Johnson, Ray Haag and Bob Aery and son-in-law Dave Hannon. At my request, they all let their hair down. The Elks Lodge #2517 from Osage Beach MO did a touching Memorial service for their fallen brother. He was laid to rest beside his father, Donald Ray Sullens at Green Mtn Cemetery in Wright County MO, at the Junction of Hwys JJ and 95 on a Sunday afternoon as the sun was setting. Many friends of 20 years met us at Green Mountain to be by our sides. Thank you, and thanks to dear sweet Betty Boop, Tom and Walter for holding me up at Green Mountain. Darlin's song was ZZ Top, "Hot Blue and Righteous" and I picked Van Halen, "Not Enough". After traveling 150 miles south to Wright County, many of us returned to the Elks Lodge and the Elkettes fed us all and offered hugs and comfort. We never even realized we were hungry. Thanks for your generosity. Joe was an only child, he lost his Momma, Marty Mansfield Sullens to breast cancer when he was 6, we lost his Dad to lung cancer in 1991. My two Momma's were unable to make the trip here, my only brother did not. Wonderful relatives and friends and family were my saving grace. Our neighbors, friends and customers kept coming and bringing food, drinks and many wonderful hugs. Thank you with all our hearts, we love all of you. 01.22.03 Today would have been Joemas, my Dear Darlin's birthday. My children and friends Bob and Ray came over to be with us to help us get thru this evening. We all told stories of Darlin'. Cancer is so wicked and so fast. I met Joe Sullens thru mutual friends in Colorado Springs, Colorado in 1976 and loved him dearly for 27 years, enjoyed 24 as his wife. We were married in Hartville, MO, the county seat of Wright County on February 27, 1978. We had moved to Missouri and made our family, daughters: Melinda Ray, Jessica Jo, Robin Anna and son, Marty Tate Sullens. We lived in Solo, Bado and Elk Creek, Missouri, all in Texas County. We moved to the Lake of the Ozarks area in 1994. Joe was so very PROUD to be an Elk with the Elks Lodge #2517 in Osage Beach, 7 years now, he was their first long hair and their first webmaster. He truly loved God, his family, his friends and his country. He is so very much missed, but will always live on in our hearts. How in the world are we going to live without him?? I've truly been a "kept woman" and he was a "kept man". True love was grand, now the better half of me is gone. 01.29.03 Can't stay, keep pacing the floor. Marty got on the web and found us a bargain. Borrowed money from my Mom and Robin and Tate drove Jesse and I to St. Louis to catch the Amtrak train. Running away to see my Momma's in Georgia. We made it right on time. We loaded up at 4:20 am. I wrote these notes in the new green fuzzy diary Robin had given me for Christmas. Met a nice lady that sat behind us. She has 14 grandchildren and 6 Great-Grandbabies. She was an older black lady from Sprinfield, Il. She told us whe has taken all of her babies for their first train rides. This is our first train ride, too. Sprinfield, Illinois is covered in snow. We walked, stood, played domino's, slept, I remember seeing Lincoln as we rode thru in the dark. Next stop lots of folks got on, the town was called Normal, IL. New folks said their town was good for laughs. The sun is not shining, but it's light out. All the Amtrak stations look older except for Springfield, it seemed newer and kept up--clean. Jesse wrote next, "Everything changes so quickly. I can't believe the things in my life. It's more like watching a movie. I've got so much to say but not enough heart or ink to get this out today. I feel like ripping my skin open and floating away". We watch the towns and states ride by outside our windows. Hurting like crazy, we're up all hours of the day and night to try and calm down. 01.30.03 It's so strange to be typing these words, here it is in October and this is the first time I've read what I wrote in January. My year has been a blur of heartache, pain, sadness. Again, back to January, and riding the train, Jesse just went to get us some postcards for Amtrak. Ate a microwave hotdog. We have arrived in Dwight, Illinois. The orange juice was wonderful. We have enough cash for 1 meal each day on the train. We have the photo of my family that I brought with me in it's frame on the table, my Darlin' will go everywhere I go, even if only in a picture. Tears and then many happy memories come flooding back, Jesse makes me laugh remembering. Got snow as far as you can see. We just went thru field after field, folks must grow an awful lot of stuff here. The rocking motion of the train reminds me of rocking all my babies in my rocking chair. Jesse is enjoying walking from car to car, she's gone to check on our stuff and find out if we change time from Central, nope, it stays the same. The number on the door between the food car and our car is 48219. We are making pretty good time. Towns are rolling on by. Have seen lots of farm equipment but no animals, not even any birds. It's cool to hear the train whistle. Jesse and I do the wave when we see folks. They all have waved back. It's 8:00 am. Marty should be in school and Robin to work at Kay's. Lots of pines have been planted here. Quite cloudy out. Glad we have brought lots of warm clothes. We will need them to walk all over Chicago today. The St. Louis Amtrak guy was not friendly, (I edited my notes) but we're teaching him manners. Saw a Midtown Market Antiques. Yippee! We're almost done with our OJ, Jesse has gone to check on our stuff again and then she wrote, "I have issues", "I love you Mom" and then we're going thru Joliet at 9:05 am. Thank you so much Robin and Brian for taking care of Marty Tate while I run away, and thank you so much Jesse Jo for running away with me. I could NOT have done it alone. Hey--we have arrived in downtown Chicago! There are trains of many colors here. Some are single and some are double deckers. So cool. Jesse got many photo's. My goodness, it's COLD here in Chicago! 19 degrees with about 4 inches of snow on the ground. Where did that come from? We got us a locker for our carry on luggage and sent our suitcases on towards Atlanta. We went out and started checking out town. Our first big stop was taking photo's of the Chicago Sears Tower, it's very near Union Station and we got postcards and our passes. We got some day passes for the Chicago Transport and rode buses all over town. Down to Diversity to the Elks Vererans Memorial. I broke down crying like a baby that the gates were open. A fellow Elk, Don, opened the door and gave us the grand tour. We got many good photo's and got a new magazine, an Elk Memorial pin and postcards, he even stamped visitors passes for all my children. I proudly held my Darlin's Elk card and my Elkette card in front of the golden statues of Fidelity, Charity, Justice and Brotherly Love. The Elks, too, have a round table! Thanks Brothers, for all your wonderful hospitality to us and your sincere sympathy for a fallen brother from Missouri. Back out into the cold and we headed for the Navy Pier. Well medicated or I would not be able to get around. Navy Pier is so very cool. Got lots and lots of information. I am hurting like crazy, we got a lemonade so I could take more medicine. We could not get down to the edge of Lake Michigan as it's all chunks of ice, but still so very, very beautiful. So, we filled up my Dear Darlin's bottle with snow from the Navy Pier, I was going to bring back some of the water from the lake, it ain't happening today! Out by the ferris wheel, it has 40 seats, just visiting and thinking of my Dear Darlin' and telling Jesse of our last visit here. Back inside to warm up and check out the plants and flowers. Hey, it's a heat wave! It's up to 34 degrees as we load back on a bus and headed back downtown towards Union Station. These bus drivers could drive at Osage Beach, they all honk at each other, but instead of being upset, they all wave, it's so cool. So many beautiful buildings to see. Back to Union Station and got to hear live music by Dave and Frank, but I wonder about the food in Union Station, thought we had chicken strips, tasted more like fish and fries from hell! ha ha So very tired. Have slept maybe 2 hours in 2 days. Well, last night anyhow. We have our luggage and have 2 hours to wait for our next train. We've walked all over and are just plain give out. We wanted a full day in Chicago and we sure got one! Hard to believe to go from St. Louis to Atlanta, you have to go thru Chicago! I love Chicago! That's ok with me. So here we are, waiting with hundreds of other folks from all over the country. Hope all are well at home. We have a LONG ride ahead of us. Hope we get on down the road soon. Eyes od'd at 6:15 pm. 01.31.03 Yippee, we're on our second train and heading south. It's 6:00 am. Woke up to seeing the Ohio River and we are in Cincinnati, Ohio. We're getting around slow, I am, Jesse is doing ok, got to get ready for the day, washed up, hair and teeth brushed, only thing missing at the train stations is a shower. That would be nice. Anyhow, on up to the dining car for soup and OJ, cereal and coffee. Heading on down the track, welcome to Portsmouth, Ashland and then Hayesville Kentucky. It's a cloudy, hazy day. Had a great time and lots of fun with the folks that work on the train. All was quiet, so we got to visit and they kept us laughing with their funny jokes, we were up and about before most folks, so we got to spend some time and get to know these folks a little bit. Of course, I showed them my photo of my family and we explained why we were running away from home. Loved the funny joke about the chocolate ice cream from Dianne! Nice way to start the day. Later, met Jennifer and her son from Chicago and enjoyed their company. Seeing lots of industry, into the city of Ashland, public boat ramp and a riverfront park. Beautiful long metal bridges across the Ohio River. Not seeing snow here. Not sure of the temperature, but he windows don't feel real cold like they did yesterday. We are on a bridge going across the river, I guess it's still the Ohio River, went by a roller coaster park. I had brought a few JCAD brochures with me and gave "Grandma Dianne" and the breakfast man one, too. Seems strange to see so many other trains zooming by so close to us. Will surely wake you up at first, then you get use to it. When the train stops, still feel like I am rolling along. Jesse heads down to the smoking car, sometimes, she has to go outside for the stop. I go along to the smoking car to write, thanks, Robin, I sure do like my new journal. It's nice to have so many butterflies all around on the pages. We are stopped right now. We will be riding this train all day. Should get to Virginia by 5:00 pm or so tonight. Later, must write and tell how pretty the country is in West Virginia! We made a stop at Montgomery, WV and the mountains remind me some of Tennessee. Not as big as the Smokey Mountains but big, green and tree covered. This train is called the Red Cardinal Amtrak Train #50 and it is so smooth in stopping and taking off. "All Aboard!", leaving on-time, wonderful. Back to our seats for some sleep as we roll along. Got woke up by the breakfast man, the nice folks we had talked to this morning invited us to lunch in the fancy dining car, their treat! Great thoughtfulness! Lunch was served at 12:15 and it was excellent! We were waited on hand and foot. Hot food, flowers on the table, linens, we were dumbfounded and so very thankful to our new friends! Got a menu from their dining car and had all of them, even the chefs that prepared our meals and the guy running the car, BigDog autograph it for us! It was such a thoughtful gesture and a heart warming experience. Thank you so very much. We are so full, we're about to explode! ha ha The river running along the tracks is full of ice. Huge icecicles everwhere, such a beautiful site. We are just kept women! :) We had the family photo on the table. It was a wonderful experience, felt the goodness all around us. We sure have had a very nice trip. Thanks...The Good Lord and Darlin' have been watching over us and stangers this morning are friends now that we will never forget. |
| December 2002 | The Back Way |
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